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Don’t Let Perfectionism Spoil Your Thanksgiving

November 23, 2013 by Jesse L. Northcutt

“Don’t be drunk with wine, because that will ruin your life. Instead, be filled with the Holy Spirit, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs among yourselves, and making music to the Lord in your hearts. And give thanks for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.” Ephesians 5:18-20 (NLT)

I’m not really a perfectionist . . . I only think like one.

As I write this essay it’s only appropriate that the table I’m sitting at is wobbling because its legs don’t rest evenly on the floor. It’s a struggle to be thankful because I wish I could be perfectly happy and satisfied with myself and everyone and everything around me – all the time!

As the annual Thanksgiving Holiday in the USA rapidly approaches I have been reflecting on the subject of perfectionism and how it so often robs us of joy and thankfulness that God intended us to have. He knows that this is a broken and imperfect world that can never meet or measure up to His holy standards. That is critical to why He sent His Son Jesus to redeem a lost, broken and imperfect world. I am part of that world. You are too.

I honestly don’t remember when the perfectionism bug bit me. I was probably very young. I’m sure if I explored it long enough and talked to any number of my friends who are very competent counsellors they could help me identify the roots of patterns that have come to be lifelong habits.

I’m learning that perfectionism is tied in with pride and has nothing to do with love. When I’m focused on my own desire to achieve perfection in my life and surroundings I’m basically playing a game of one-up-man-ship. Trying to outdo others to meet my own ego issues is completely selfish and unloving. Those are harsh words for someone who’s trying to be perfect!

Pride is a violation of love and perfectionism is pride.

In the verses referenced above the apostle Paul speaks of a Spirit-filled way of living. As redeemed people we can rest in joyful communion with God – singing, praising, and making melody – when alone or with others. In the process he says “give thanks for everything.” 

I think Paul is very intentional in saying that we give thanks to God the Father for everything. We direct our thanks to our Father in the name of Jesus His Son by the power of the Holy Spirit. The PERFECT triune God is involved in every aspect of our lives. For this we should be continually thankful – all the time.

I admit that I often have difficulty accepting the Sovereignty and goodness of God. Thanking he triune God for “everything” can only come from a heart that is grateful for His constant, redeeming, all-encompassing love.

Our pride and perfectionism does not produce fruit in the eternal scheme of things. Heaven is not impressed when we perform on our own stage. We may think that we’re putting on a fine show by our good works, but if motivated by anything other than love for God and His reputation all our best efforts come to naught.

Some have taken me to task on this. “Isn’t a Christian supposed to STRIVE for perfection?”

It all depends on who is doing the striving. When you examine it closely, the Gospel of Jesus Christ is that we are unable to bring ourselves to perfection with self-effort. It’s a faith journey that thrives on thanksgiving, joy and heaven-inspired music.

When I’m caught up in my own pride and perfectionism, I’m far from joyful and definitely not singing and making any music – with my voice or with my life.

Some years ago I was introduced to The Sonship Course. It was originally developed for burned out missionaries but was later adapted for a wider audience. One of the key questions it posed was, “If given the choice would you rather be right or would you rather be loving?” A perfectionist wants to be right. A devoted Jesus-follower wants to experience God’s love deeply and share it with others.

I must admit that most times I’d rather be right than loving when God desires my heart devotion to Him. Everything else, including a grateful heart, should flow from that. Our LORD Jesus is the only one who can be perfectly right and perfectly loving at the same time. Why compete with true perfection?

This year, as always, I’d like to enjoy the “perfect” Thanksgiving holiday – but I’ll settle for a grateful, joyful heart whatever the day might bring. Giving thanks is on God’s menu for us every day and perfectionism always leaves a bitter aftertaste.

Posted in Grace, Gratitude, Perfectionism | Tagged , , , | 1 Comment »

Good Neighbors – A Modern Parable

August 3, 2013 by Jesse L. Northcutt

“The LORD doesn’t see things the way you see them. People judge by outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.” 1 Samuel 16:7b (New Living Translation)

A well-respected man lived in a quiet suburban neighborhood and was known for keeping a luxurious garden. All the neighbors around him admired the way he kept his lawn cut and shrubs and hedges trimmed. He seemed to care for every detail of his garden, particularly his flowers which dazzled with color and beauty.

Most days this man could be seen doing some activity in his garden and although he was a fairly quiet individual he always greeted the neighbors and seemed happy and content outdoors. Many of the neighbors were motivated to keep up their own gardens to a higher standard, but most of them could only admire this man’s accomplishments.

One day, without warning, the neighbors were shocked to see their friend dash out of his house and begin to destroy his garden. The man, obviously shaken and angry, began to pull up the beautiful flowers and wildly cut down his shrubs. He ran to the back of his house and brought out a tiller. He then began to dig up his lawn with wild abandon. He didn’t seem to care that the fruits of years of his hard, dedicated labor seemed to be vanishing in a matter of minutes.

The neighbors were obviously in disbelief. Such behavior from someone so steady and predictable seemed quite outlandish. After the initial shock wore off they started to talk among themselves as to what should be done about this sort of person displaying this type of behavior in their midst. Some of the neighbors said that he should face consequences for his actions. After all it was a peaceful and attractive neighborhood – not a war zone. He had kept a fine garden for a long time and now to destroy it was almost unforgivable.

Others wondered what brought on such bizarre behavior. A couple of them really cared about their friend and found enough courage to approach him, face to face, and ask him what was wrong. They were heartbroken to discover that their friend and neighbor, unknown to them, had been living with significant personal challenges and problems for some years. Outside the house, the man put on a brave face and a confident persona but inside the house he was filled with despair and regret that none of his neighbors ever observed.

The man with the beautiful garden had never opened up to a single soul about the heavy burdens he had been carrying for a number of years. It seems that his garden had been a way to escape from all the pressures and problems of life he faced inside his own home. One day the pressure got to be too much and the only way he knew to respond was by destroying the very thing that had been positive about his life.

Word got around the neighborhood as to what motivated this outlandish behavior. Some of the neighbors continued to visit their friend, and to listen with compassion as he reflected on his life and what was troubling him. Many of the difficult issues of his life even began to be resolved.

Eventually he started working out in the garden once again, re-planting a new lawn and replacing the lost flowers and shrubs.

When the neighborhood returned to normal most everyone was happy to see the gardener back at work, creating something of joy and beauty.

Sadly, some living around him still refused to befriend their neighbor, doubting that he had really changed. They feared that perhaps another attack on the garden would always be imminent. They could never get the picture out of their minds of a man destroying his beautiful garden right there in their own neighborhood.

Still others who were wise and compassionate realized that what goes on inside a man’s house will become evident outside the house. They now enjoyed a deeper relationship with their friend than ever before.

“The LORD doesn’t see things the way you see them. People judge by outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.”

Posted in Forgiveness, Grace, Happiness, Intimacy, Rescue | Leave a Comment »

God Sees

July 27, 2013 by Jesse L. Northcutt

“Nothing in all creation is hidden from God. Everything is naked and exposed before his eyes, and he is the one to whom we are accountable” – Hebrews 4:13 (New Living Translation)

“Be careful not to do your acts of righteousness before men, to be seen by them. If you do, you will have no reward from your Father in heaven.” – Matthew 6:1 (NIV)

Someone once commented that character is what you are in the dark. Looking back, the times in my life when I’ve been tested the most came on  occasions when I had the distinct feeling that I was alone and no one was “watching” me.

These days the news media in the US is at a fever pitch in reporting political scandals and exposing the men, and sometimes women,  who have fallen victim to immoral behavior. These stories provide late night talk show hosts with more than enough fodder for their monologues and jokes. It seems no one is immune from the public eye these in days of advanced technology.

I can pretty much guarantee that no one involved in a scandal ever went into immoral behavior thinking it would ever be found out or exposed. When men and women get the idea that “no one is watching” it’s incredible the behaviors that will result.

Without realizing it I often wondered myself if anyone was really watching my life and if anyone really cared to.  Through major tests, failure and victory in my own life, I’ve been challenged to reexamine my own theology and just how I was living it out. There was a period of my life when I behaved as if I was performing only for those around me and not honest and open before the God who sees everyone and everything.

The dark was another world where no one saw what was hidden in my life and I thought, quite frankly, no one really cared. Fortunately, God through His relentless love brought me through many trials to bring me to a better place and a clearer understanding of His knowledge of me as part of His vast Creation over which He is sovereign.

When we think we’re all alone, we are not living out the reality of the theology many of us profess. God does see and He exposes the hidden recesses of our lives and hearts.

This knowledge, practically applied, makes a significant difference in how we live. The writer to the Hebrews says, “Everything is naked and exposed before his eyes, and he is the one to whom we are accountable.” I have found that there is both consolation and trepidation in that statement.

The fact that God sees it all should not make us want to run and hide from Him but to draw closer to Him. The one who knows us intimately wants to draw us closer to Him every moment. He has opened the door of access to Himself completely through Jesus Christ His Son.

If you will ultimately be accountable to God then why not be accountable to Him now in every aspect of your life? Is your life about performing for others or pleasing the One who knows and sees all?

Jesus challenges us as His followers not to “perform” for people (Matthew 6:1) but to rest in the knowledge that the ultimate Judge of all men sees our “acts of righteousness” and will be the one whose opinion really matters in the end.

If you are like me, a recovering perfectionist or people-pleaser,  this may be the best news we will ever hear. God loves us because He sees it all, just as it is, and deeply desires to draw near to us, and we to Him.

God Sees. He sees you and everything about your life. How you respond to His knowledge of you makes all the difference in how you will live today.

Posted in Grace, Intimacy, Positive Thinking | Leave a Comment »

Catching Up

July 15, 2013 by Jesse L. Northcutt

“Therefore, my dear friends, as you have always obeyed– not only in my presence, but now much more in my absence–continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose.” – Philippians 2:12-13 (NIV)

Seems like summer is a good time to catch up.  We may find that a change of pace in these summer months gives us opportunities to get to things we don’t have time for the other weeks of the year. Perhaps one can take time to kick back and relax especially if one is so blessed with good weather and time to spend with family and friends or perhaps take a vacation or “holiday” as it’s referred to in some places around the English-speaking world.

Personally speaking I can recall not being able to relax at anytime during the course of the summer or  the year.  Several  years ago I was under intense stress that had steadily grown from month to month and year to year.  It became a toxic force in my life and I would not be surprised if others out there are suffering the same malady.

Some of us can be so driven that the thought of relaxing or backing off of a busy schedule is anathema to us. I wonder why that is?

I’ve never been a fast runner, but I have been in a few footraces in my time. I’ve always despised the feeling of seeing all the other guys running past me and not being able to “catch up” regardless of how fast I ran.

One day I stopped running.  I just had to stop and rest because I found myself constantly under pressure in my life and career to catch up with people whom I perceived where running the same race as myself but were far, far ahead of where I was.  In stopping I started assessing. In assessing I found some answers about how I was living that weren’t pleasant, but helped me find answers I really hadn’t been looking for.

In the passage quoted above the Apostle Paul instructs the followers of Jesus to “work out your salvation with fear and trembling.”  I take it that it’s our own salvation we’re meant to be “working out” without comparison to how other followers are performing. I came to realize that I had been running my “race” in comparison to and in competition with others of my choosing instead of in relation to the One I was meant to be worshipping and serving.

For followers of Jesus the only race to be running is the one in partnership with Him, not in competition with other followers.  I think there’s a lot of us that have issues with that.

The Apostle also says in the context, “for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose.”  I see a clearer picture here that as we focus on our own walk with God He’s the one calling the shots and working in us to accomplish His purposes through our faith and obedience.

I do know that races are won by those who focus on their own plan of action and take their eyes off of the competition, especially during a race. Some races are lost by those who start looking over their shoulder and fearing those coming up behind them.

Maybe this was in the mind of the author to the book of Hebrews who said  “… let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.  Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. ” Hebrews 12:1b-2 (NIV)

It was long time before I realized how committed I had been to a plan that wasn’t energized by the Author and Perfecter of my faith. Fortunately, He is at work in all who follow by faith and are willing to lay every burden on His shoulders.

When our focus shifts from the One we’re meant to be following to others in the race, we begin unfair comparisons that skew our perspectives.  There’s no “catching up” with the One who’s in charge. He’s always in the lead and is always meant to be in focus.

Let’s shift our eyes back to the One we’re meant to be following in the first place and enjoy the pace He sets for each of us. The winning prize goes to Him who ultimately set up the race in the first place.

Posted in Comparison, Competition, Process | Leave a Comment »

The Artist – A Personal Parable

June 15, 2013 by Jesse L. Northcutt

“For we are God’s workmanship created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” – Ephesians 2:10 (NIV) 

There was a man in the middle years of life who one day found himself in deep despair and desperation even though few people who lived with and around him knew of his plight. He seemed to have everything a man could want – a lovely wife and family, a seemingly fulfilling career and many of the fruits of his labor which many in this world can only dream of having. One night in desperation the man knelt by his bed and begged God to give him some indication as to where in his life he had missed the fulfillment and joy he had hoped for.

Even though he hadn’t been sleeping too well as of late, that night the man fell into a deep sleep. He dreamed of standing before a blank canvas, something like a mural on a wall. He saw on a small table a variety of jars of paint and brushes. At the same time he envisioned the art work of many of the master artists of the world. He loved and admired the stunning beauty of their work. Even several of his friends were advancing artists and were producing wonderful works of art, which, if he were honest caused envy to surface in his heart. He wondered if he too would be so fortunate as to create something with his hands that might be of beauty, wonder and substance. Perhaps even a masterpiece capable of bringing glory to his Creator.

The man looked up and before him stood a famous Master Artist who seemed interested in the opportunities that lay ahead for both of them. The Master said, “I will help you create something beautiful on that mural if you will trust me.” The proposition seemed good to the man as he was a mere novice but knew something of the integrity and skill of The Master.

The Master Artist left the man with all the supplies and some basic instructions and assured him that regardless of whether he sensed his presence or not He would always be with the young apprentice as a guide and mentor.

So the man got to work. He followed the instructions of The Master Artist. He used a variety of paints and brushes. He brushed one stroke after another on the canvas as The Master had instructed. After a time he stepped back to look at the canvas and it seemed to have no discernible pattern or captivating beauty. On one level it seemed that perhaps The Master did not understand the objective. The aspiring artist wanted to create something special which reflected his own skill, but also drew the admiration of others, just as other artists had produced.

The man still trusted that The Master knew best and followed the instructions, occasionally taking time to step back and reflect on what was being produced.

Then one day the apprentice artist grew impatient. He began to doubt that The Master really any personal interest in him at all. He also wondered if the Master had simply duped him. Feeling as if he was a deserted apprentice he grew anxious, angry, frustrated and weary. He was tired of working on a project that no one might ever notice and admire, especially one that did not measure up to the great works of art others had produced at The Master’s instruction.

One day out of desperation the man decided to dip his hand into a jar and indiscriminately throw paint at the canvas. After all, if The Master wasn’t there to give more specific instruction then he might as well trust his own skills and see what would happen. He stood back and looked at the canvas. The splashes of multiple colors didn’t seem to fit with what had been created up to that point, but then it didn’t seem to detract from it either. So he continued to follow the same process – tossing one color after another at the canvas and hoping that the result would sooner or later be positive.               ‘

After a time the man again grew frustrated with his own efforts. The multiple running colors and chaos on the canvas obviously made an awful mess. He longed for The Master to return and give him a refresher course on the original plan. One day he cried out in desperation and suddenly The Master reappeared.

To his astonishment, The Master wasn’t at all surprised at anything he had experienced. It seems that all aspiring artists have trouble trusting The Master Artist and following His instructions. He reassured him, “I usually leave apprentices to their own devices at times until they learn to trust Me and together we develop something of enduring substance and beauty.”

The aspiring artist found his encounter with The Master was the turning point. As he learned to trust The Master and form a more dynamic partnership he was no longer throwing paint haphazardly at the canvas, but adding strokes of value at the Master’s instruction. He even stepped back from the canvas and saw that his foolish antics even blended into the masterpiece, representing a time when he sensed The Master was merely a distant and aloof advisor.

When the man snapped out of his dream he awoke to the reality that there is an intentional life to be lived in harmony with The Eternal Master and a confidence in His care and skill more than the seeming beauty or chaos of his life as it unfolded.

Posted in Comparison, Disappointment, Gratitude, Process | Leave a Comment »

God’s Dream Job

May 9, 2013 by Jesse L. Northcutt

“Then they cried to the LORD in their trouble, and he saved them from their distress.” – Psalm 107:13 (NIV)

Rescued after ten years in bondage. The world has been watching with interest the developing story in Cleveland, Ohio where three girls have been rescued after having spent perhaps as long as the past decade in captivity in a house without the slightest suspicion of their bondage from the neighbors living in the area.

As the story unfolds and the truth emerges little by little, every loving, responsible person shudders at the thought of something like this happening to any child – particularly one of their own.

I’m fascinated by the actual details of the discovery of these girls and their rescue. It seems from one report that a neighbor passing by the house heard the cry for help from one of the girls who had managed to wedge a door open far enough to cry out and be heard. Obviously, once she was discovered, it didn’t take long for things to develop rapidly.

I’ve often reflected on how rewarding it might be to have been directly involved in a rescue operation like this. In this case, the girls who were found and freed will probably forever remember with gratitude those who first came to the scene and became the answer to their prayers.

A couple of years ago while doing my daily Bible reading I came across Psalm 107. It was one that I had not read in quite some time.  Even though it is a lengthy, ancient Psalm it speaks of the reality that behind every human rescue operation we find the hand of God.  He is the one who reaches down from heaven personally and rescues us humans who have gotten into trouble and distress.

If you look at the Psalm you will find four stanzas. Each one speaks of feats men and women have attempted through the ages. In each of the cases, people have fallen onto hard times – some through rebellion or foolishness, and others due to the natural consequences of life. In each case, when they cry to the Lord in their distress, He is there to rescue and lift them to a place of safety, security and blessing.

In reflection, I see that God has been the Great Rescuer in my own life – reaching down to bring me out of despair, even when I wasn’t fully awake to my lost-ness, but just cried out to Him for help.

When we hear stories such as the one in Ohio, we somehow think that rescue is pretty rare. I think it’s actually much more common than we realize. God’s been rescuing people for a long, long time. Of course, He uses other people in the process, just as He sent His own Son Jesus to be the ultimate Rescuer of Mankind.

We all have a picture in our mind’s eye about a dream job we’d like to have. I think God actually sees rescuing people as His dream job. He’s an expert at it and has been doing it for a long, long time.  

When we take sides with the Almighty God we join His plan of helping in His rescue operation for the precious souls of others. We may not always see as dramatic results as the story of these girls in Cleveland, but we can be sure we’re following the One who will come to the rescue when people cry out to Him from the heart.

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Endurance: Facing Resistance with Attitude!

May 4, 2013 by Jesse L. Northcutt

“Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow.” James 1:2-3 New Living Translation

I must admit that I don’t take to adversity very well. My normal reaction to the challenges of life that come my way is often, “WHY is this happening to me?” or  “What did I do to deserve this?”

Some adversity in life comes suddenly and without warning. Like an unexpected accident or the sudden death of a close family member. Sometimes we bring adversity on ourselves by making poor choices or even facing a challenge by taking appropriate risk or exercising courage.

Just recently I’ve been taking a weekly half-hour swimming class which is meant to develop a higher level of fitness by swimming vigorous laps around the pool wearing fins. This class in “Fin Fitness” has taught me a lot about facing resistance and developing strength and endurance.

Each week,  before class begins I start wondering why I agreed put myself through the gauntlet. Everyone who has been involved in the class sees the benefits because the exercise is so intense. The small group of my classmates are younger, fitter and better swimmers than yours truly and it’s a huge challenge keeping up with them  – a task I’ve been unable to accomplish so far.

When the class is over and relief sets in I’m joyful that I stuck it out. I then experience the benefits that come from facing the challenge and finding the endurance to persevere.  Hopefully strength, fitness, flexibility and endurance will be physical benefits I will enjoy not to mention the emotional well being that is part of the process.

Whatever the test or trial might be I often wonder if our state of mind is the critical factor in it all. Is there a mindset that will help us on a day to day basis that will carry us through as we courageously face  the challenges that come our way?

In the book of James in the New Testament, the author makes some very startling statements, especially about trials and suffering. One of the better known verses, quoted above, instructs the reader to actually consider trials and tests as joyful opportunities for personal growth.

James does say that if our faith is tested, endurance has a chance to grow. When you consider it, in many areas of life we don’t get very far without meeting resistance head on.

Whatever challenge you may be facing today take a close look at your attitude toward it.  Remember that James is addressing followers of Jesus in the first century. Jesus Christ is the one who faced the adversity of the Cross and all that it entailed, yet came through victorious. Not only is He our Savior but our example of facing adversity courageously and with an eternal perspective.

 Although I don’t like to admit it, in a world full of adversity there’s probably nothing that will build strength and endurance except facing resistance with a positive attitude and an eternal perspective.  

Posted in Adversity, Endurance, Positive Thinking | Tagged , | 1 Comment »

A Spring Season – Grasping for Fruit or Developing Roots?

March 29, 2013 by Jesse L. Northcutt

“So then, just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live in him, rooted and built up in Him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness.” – Colossians 2:6-7 (NIV)

This Easter weekend is a good time to reflect on the message of Jesus and the life we can have in relationship with Him. As the followers of Jesus celebrate Resurrection Sunday I think this is an important time to focus on the reality that a life worth living is one that is rooted in the Person and work of Jesus Christ.

In today’s world we have many voices that capture our attention. I realize more and more that I have been a product of the culture I grew up in. I didn’t recognize until the past few years that many influences on my life shaped me into a person with a strong desire to be productive and successful in life. You might say that results really matter to me in almost every walk of life.

This may be helpful in many respects, but when we come to living the Christian life we can very easily approach too many things with a “results” mentality. Many of us love to see the fruits of our labor and will do almost anything to see it happen.

Particularly as followers of Jesus we just naturally assume that living a fruitful and productive life is something that is pretty much expected of us. The critical thing is what the fruit may look like and the process we undertake that will produce it.

In recent years, I’ve begun to realize that for a season of my life I didn’t focus enough on developing a healthier root system in my life because of an overwhelming desire to see fruit that I wanted put on display perhaps before it ripened.

Jesus, our Master of growth, gave us many lessons from everyday, observable life in God’s creation.  At one point he said, “Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow.” Obviously there’s much to observe in the natural world that God has placed there to teach us lessons for spiritual and emotional growth.

The Apostle Paul in his words to the Colossians (above) told them to be rooted in Jesus Christ, to see Him as the source of life, growth and development.

In the natural world what’s the relationship between roots and fruit? Roots are hidden underground and fruit is observable above ground. Roots go deep and anchor a plant while fruit generally falls off the tree and is either consumed or decomposes. Roots are essential to the health and vitality of the entire plant and fruit will not be healthy, or edible, unless there is a healthy root system at the foundation level.

Our responsibility as followers of Jesus is to partner with Him in going through a process of developing our roots and leaving the results (fruit) to Him. I think we start to spin out of control when we start looking for quick results and fixes and neglect our root system. I believe this to be the case because I’ve experienced it and lived to tell about it!

When I look at Jesus Himself, He seemed to be much more focused on the process of life rather than looking for immediate results. For one thing, it is a well known historical fact that Jesus did not begin His public ministry before He was 30 years old. There was a season of development in Jesus’ life that took place before His public ministry. Even when Jesus did choose His disciples, He took them through a process of growth that never really ended but had many layers of ongoing development.

This spring why not begin to examine the root system in your life. Where are you focusing your time and energy? Is it trying to grasp for more fruit or developing your roots under the guidance of Jesus Christ?

A friend that regularly reads the correspondence I send out to my prayer partners noticed something recently. After I redirected my focus onto the roots and the process of growth she unexpectedly told me that she noticed a different and positive tone change coming through my writing. Something had shifted and she noticed it but couldn’t quite describe it.

I have little doubt that when we sink our roots into Jesus those around us will observe a noticeable change in our attitude, direction and behavior.

As in nature, the root systems in our lives are developed in the quiet, unseen life that we live with Jesus when no one else is watching. By sinking our roots deep into Him perhaps we will soon find the fruit bursting forth in ways we never imagined. 

 

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Duty, Discipline and Disappointment

March 16, 2013 by Jesse L. Northcutt

“But he answered his father, `Look! All these years I’ve been slaving for you and never disobeyed your orders. Yet you never gave me even a young goat so I could celebrate with my friends.'” Luke 15:29 (NIV)

Disappointment in life normally comes from not getting what we expected.

A friend a few years my senior used to say often with tongue in cheek, “Blessed is he who expecteth nothing, for he will not be disappointed!” Unfortunately, we in the developed world have many expectations and when they go unmet we are left with disappointment and frustration.

At this stage of my life I have begun to realize that many of my aspirations of where I thought I would be at my age will not materialize, at least  not in the short term.  I often live with more disappointment than I’m willing to admit.

In the classic tale of the prodigal son Jesus told in Luke chapter 15 it is interesting to note the contrast between the two brothers in the story. As we know, the younger son  expected his inheritance early and upon receiving it, squandered it. But in doing so, he found the reality that a better life was to be had back in his father’s house. 

When the younger son returned home he received a very unexpected welcome – his waiting father ran to meet him and threw an extravagant celebration in his honor.

We usually don’t focus on the older brother who stayed home and saw himself as “slaving” for his father.  His life was full of disappointment because he must have felt that his commitment to keeping the rules would reap rewards down the line. Discipline and duty would surely gain him an advantage over his foolish, rebellious younger brother.

It is easy for some of us, yours truly included, to live life that way. We keep to a performance regimen so Dad will be proud of us. Maybe He will notice our exceptional behavior and give us whatever we want – when we want it. Unfortunately, we end up disappointed with that orientation toward life.

In recent years I’m learning much more about the way God designed us to live in relationship with Him by focusing on the process, or the daily walk with Him, rather than living with high expectations of what might result from my peak performance. It’s the difference between learning to enjoy the process as opposed to focusing merely on results.

Think of a skill or hobby that you really enjoy. It could be anything from learning a musical instrument to playing a sport or developing a new skill. It doesn’t take much to motivate you when you enjoy the process of learning even when you don’t see immediate results. The moment you switch over to focusing on the results the process becomes more laborious. Often the harder we try to do something the more ineffective we become.

A better quality of life emerges when we live a life of faith in God and let our expectations rest with Him. Accepting the results that come our way with a grateful heart may reap greater benefits in the long run than anxiously focusing on the results that seem beyond our grasp.

The words of the older brother in the story reveal that he expected  a certain level of attention from his father as a result of his good behavior. When the younger brother expected rejection and was willing to be put on the level of a servant, the father not only ran toward him but reinstated him in the family.

The broader implication is that we can expect our Heavenly Father to rejoice in us, to desire a relationship with us, to demonstrate love and generosity to us, to rejoice whenever we move toward Him.  Maybe, when we experience disappointment it’s because we are focused on the wrong expectations.

Perhaps the lesson that we need to hear is that duty and discipline when launched from the wrong motives will never win any credibility before a loving God who cares deeply for us and desires us to enjoy our relationship with Him. Moving in His direction will always reap unexpected benefits.

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Forgiveness – Where Sin & Grace Meet

February 23, 2013 by Jesse L. Northcutt

“Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, ‘Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?’  Jesus answered, ‘I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times. Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants.  . .’ ” Matthew 18:21-23 (NIV)

“Here’s the deal,” coach blurted out. “I can give ALL of you one lick and we’ll forget about it, or I’ll give ALL of you three licks and THEN we’ll talk about it.”

Even though it was over forty years ago I can still hear coach Hall’s tone of voice and sense my feeling of helplessness.

It was my third year of secondary school and I was one of about fifteen second and third year students who were taking golf for their physical education requirement. There was a good system in place whereby we played a few holes of golf at local courses after school and then were required to hand in signed scorecards the following day proving we weren’t skipping out.  

Early in this particular year we had a stretch of frosty weather and by the time we got out to the courses they were closed. A few days of this went by and no cards were showing up at school. We all thought we had passed on clear information on the matter to Mr. Hall our basketball coach-turned-golf-monitor. But to our shock he decided to dispense with the perceived problem en masse. He called a short meeting after school and meted out the discipline he thought would rectify our infraction to the satisfaction of the school administration. It was a simple case to him that no cards were showing up and we were all guilty!

That day I and my teammates were victims of unexpected injustice as we all lined up for the ONE very painful and quick paddle to the backside while the coach was temporarily relieved to think that he had fairly rectified the situation. Little did any of us know what would happen next!

Being on the receiving end of unfair treatment brings wounds that can last for years. The deeper the wound the more difficult it is to forgive. Many have observed that the wounded who refuse to forgive are actually held captive by the offenders who often forget about their actions because they may be nursing wounds themselves.

I think we all find forgiving those who have wounded us to be a difficult matter.

Where we live in Ireland we find this repeatedly with victims of family and institutional abuse. One of my colleagues is a specialist in counselling adult victims of child sexual abuse. From all I have gleaned from her over the years I know that forgiveness in these situations is a process.  It’s one that can last for years and even over a lifetime.

We are also all too familiar with institutional abuse in this country. The Magdalene  laundries and their enduring legacy have returned to the Irish news in recent days. These were institutions which existed in Ireland, Britain and other parts of Europe and even in North America from the 18th to the late-20th centuries supposedly to house “fallen women.” Originally designed to be agencies of mercy they eventually became instruments of abuse and bondage for many girls who ended up there.

My heart goes out to the women who were victims of these institutions and no amount of whitewashing can take away the enduring emotional pain of the victims as well as perhaps the perpetrators of the abuse who were likely themselves victimized in their younger days.

Although no injustice  I have ever experienced has come anywhere near the abuse many like these women have experienced I do know that bitterness and a refusal to forgive others blinds us to our own sin and rebellion. When we consider forgiving  those who have wounded us it often causes us to forget our own rebellion and the harm we have caused others.

Ultimately the only way we can understand and cope with forgiveness is in the message of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. He told a story in Matthew chapter 18:21-35 of two servants who owed debts. One’s debt was enormous and the other was pretty minor. The comparison  of the debt is between the first servant who owed  “ten thousand talents” or millions to his master vs. another servant who owed  very little, “a hundred denarii,” to the other servant.

The story is one of extreme contrast – the first servant, after begging for mercy was released from his debt only to go out and exercise harsh judgement against his fellow servant who owed him very little.

Jesus had a way of putting things in perspective. The implication is that no matter how great the infraction against us may seem, there is our Master in heaven whom we have grossly offended. Our debt is enormous – no matter how much we try to minimize it. From our perspective, what others have done against us always seems large and worthy of ultimate justice. In fact, just the opposite is true. The person who bows the knee to Jesus,  who ultimately paid the price for all sin and injustice at the cross, is the One who carried the brunt of the worst abuse anyone could suffer.

The simple fact is that we have no idea of the large debt we owe to our Heavenly Father. Despite the enormous size of the debt it has been cancelled at the Cross of Jesus. We who have been the  greatest recipients of Grace and Mercy are called on to forgive any debts that are taken out against us.

The message is all too clear and all too difficult to cope with at times.

When Mr. Hall thought that he had settled the matter of the missing scorecards, he didn’t realize that one of the student’s mother’s (mine) would issue a complaint against him to the Principal. After some quick deliberations the Principal cancelled the golf programme for us younger students for the remainder of the school year. We ended up in the gym for physical education instead of on the golf course.  Now I was working through forgiving my mother for making a fuss about the situation!

In a world where abuse, violence and injustice will probably be with us until the Lord’s return we still have to work through the actions and attitudes related to forgiveness. It’s only at the Cross of Jesus where Sin and Grace meet. Only there we glean insight into the forgiveness we need to receive and give on a daily basis.  

In the end I think we have to admit that those of us who are the recipients of greater mercy are to be greater instruments of forgiveness as well.  

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