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Archive for the ‘Giving’ Category

Can You Say “Yes” and Really Mean It?

Posted in Giving, Personal Development, Spirituality, Worry, tagged on September 24, 2020| Leave a Comment »

“But most of all, my brothers and sisters, never take an oath, by heaven or earth or anything else. Just say a simple yes or no, so that you will not sin and be condemned.” – James 5:12 (NLT)

Actually when you think about it, whether we admit it or not, we all have our limits. During the past couple of weeks I’ve been considering the fact that we have so many limits or boundaries in our lives that we often don’t take time to consider.  

Recently a friend and colleague died of cancer at a relatively young age, leaving behind a husband and two children with particular needs. For those of us who knew and loved her we all feel the pain of losing someone who left us far too early. But her life, like all of ours, has limits. We won’t live in these bodies forever, and as a follower of Jesus as I grow older, I’m looking forward to the next one that God has promised me.

In the meantime, like everyone else, I have limits. I don’t have unlimited time, money, patience, emotional energy, and the list goes on. I have limits or boundaries and I’m learning more about them all the time. I often don’t like or appreciate the fact that I’m human and I have to say “no” to some things.

I’ve often pondered why I don’t like to say “no” to everyone’s requests. I think I’ve discovered that I don’t want to disappoint anyone and I want to be helpful to everyone. That’s a lofty goal, but virtually impossible to reach. I’m human and I have to be the first to admit it. I’ve been addicted to people-pleasing for years and it’s a difficult habit from which to break free.  

I’m re-reading Henry Cloud and John Townsend’s book, “Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life.” I think this should be required reading for almost everyone, especially people who relate to what I’m saying. One of the key thoughts from the book comes under the section on boundary myths under the question – “Are Boundaries a Sign of Disobedience?”

The authors write, “. . .an internal no nullifies an external yes. God is more concerned with our hearts than he is with our outward compliance. ‘For I desire mercy and not sacrifice, and acknowledgment of God rather than burnt offerings,’ (Hosea 6:6) In other words, if we say yes to God or anyone else when we really mean no, we move into a position of compliance. And that is the same as lying. Our lips say yes, but our hearts (and often our half-hearted actions) say no. . . Here’s a good way to look at this myth that boundaries are a sign of disobedience: if we can’t say no, we can’t say yes. . . We must always say yes out of a heart of love. When our motive is fear, we love not.” – pp. 110-111.  

As I was reading these words I reflected on what James writes in his epistle, quoted above. There is a responsibility for our lives that God entrusts to us as we stand before Him. We have to say “yes” to the things we devote our hearts to and “no” to what we cannot or must not do. In other words, I have to take ownership and responsibility for what is mine and you must do the same.

This is no simple task and it’s not a pat answer or “formula” that we can plug in to each and every situation. However, my thought and prayer life is much more informed by the boundaries and limits in my life and more importantly, in my heart.

Like everyone else, I’m a work in progress I need to continually guard and watch over my heart so that when I say “yes” I can really mean it – on the inside as well as the outside.

Daily we are bombarded by choices and decisions which are tough calls to make. To what will we devote our time, our energy, our money and our resources? Who will get the best part of our day and our full attention?

As something of a compulsive thinker at times, I can become consumed with trying to make the “right” decision instead of allowing God to speak to my heart and trusting His guidance. I know as I trust Him more fully He will give me the insight and wisdom to say “yes” and “no” and speak from a heart of love rather than fear of rejection or disappointing others. May this bless you on your journey with Him today.  

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A Life of Inspirational Influence

Posted in Disciple Making, Faith, Giving, Racial Equality, tagged , , on June 16, 2020| Leave a Comment »

“We always thank God for all of you, mentioning you in our prayers. We continually remember before our God and Father your work produced by faith, your labor prompted by love, and your endurance inspired by hope in our Lord Jesus Christ.” – 1 Thessalonians 1:2-3 (NIV)

It was sometime in 1977 or 1978 and I was in my early years as a student at Dallas Theological Seminary. My wife Joyce had been taking some classes with Child Evangelism Fellowship directors Fred and Vickie Kraft, being better equipped to lead children to a personal knowledge of Jesus Christ and grow in a personal relationship with Him.

I think it may have been Vickie who encouraged Joyce to either sponsor a “Good News Club” for children on a weekday afternoon or assist someone else who would host it. Being new to Dallas and not having a wide range of social connections in the area, Joyce volunteered to help Ina Taylor, a local African-American woman.

From the time Joyce first met Ina she knew she had a friend for life. Ina was a sincere and dedicated follower of Jesus, a graduate of Southern Bible Institute and had a heart to reach out to the children in her south Dallas neighborhood. For several years during my student days Joyce helped her with a weekly children’s club.

One Sunday Ina invited us to attend her local church and come to her house for dinner afterwards. It was one of my first, but not last, experiences visiting a predominantly African-American church. We were warmly welcomed and of course were treated to a fabulous meal afterwards. You would never have met a woman with a larger heart than Ina Taylor.

In 1981 after my graduation from Dallas Seminary we returned to my home town of Fort Worth to prepare for our ministry in Ireland with Greater Europe Mission. We kept in touch with Ina and began to send her our newsletters where we shared family updates and prayer requests for our ministry. Ina became one of our most faithful prayer supporters and almost every year we received hand written letters from her which were indeed a “labor of love” considering the arthritis that she suffered with, especially in her hands and fingers.

As the years passed we had our first four children and Ina adopted them as her own grandchildren even though she mainly knew them through our newsletters. Her own children decided to have her move to Tyler in east Texas closer to them. Tyler happened to be along the US Interstate 20 route we would usually take to northwest Louisiana where Joyce’s mother’s family resided and her parents retired in the early 1990’s.

I think it was on our return trip to America in 1992 or ’93 that we made a very treasured visit to Ina in Tyler on our way to Louisiana. She was able to see our four older children (our twins didn’t arrive until 1994) and prepare a delicious catfish dinner for our lunch. I recall one of our sons saying that he didn’t like catfish! That was, of course, until he actually tasted it and then couldn’t stop eating Ina’s catfish dinner.

We spent a treasured couple of hours with Ina that afternoon but what we weren’t prepared for was what happened next. Ina insisted that we all pile in our car and take her to a local department store. She wanted to purchase gifts for each one of our children. She wouldn’t take “no” for an answer and we didn’t feel like standing in the way of her desire to serve her Lord by serving our family.

Ina taught me to be a more generous giver even as our children picked out what they wanted from the store and carried away treasured gifts from their African-American grandmother.

I’m eternally grateful to God for how He allowed us to connect with another believer from a different background who would be a lifelong ministry partner with us.

A few years ago we received a phone call from Ina’s daughter who kindly passed along the sad news that she had gone home to be with Jesus, the Lord that she loved and served wholeheartedly. I personally hope that she is one of the first people I meet on the other side when I join her someday.

Today we are beset with stories of hate, racism, prejudice, anger and tension of all types and descriptions. All of us as human beings have painful experiences and memories that shape us for life. Perhaps it’s time that we start making new memories and have new experiences with people from all nations and a variety of backgrounds. Yes, we can and should work for moral and social justice, but it starts with simple things like working together on projects which are life-giving to others.

I know that change starts with me, but hopefully I’m drawing from a reservoir of experiences such as the ones I had with our dear friend, sister and ministry partner, Ina Taylor. May her tribe increase!

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A Matter of Attention

Posted in Connection, Giving, Grace, Gratitude, Happiness, Personal Development, Positive Thinking, Process, Spirituality, Thanksgiving, Uncategorized, tagged , on February 25, 2019| Leave a Comment »

“Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. When Christ, who is your life, appears, then you also will appear with him in glory.” – Colossians 3:1-4 (NIV)

I need not remind you of the volume of distractions these days that beg for our time and attention – 24/7 news reports, e-mails, texts, social media, Slack, WhatsApp, the list goes on, and on and on! I heard recently that some 3 Billion hours per month world wide are spent on people playing video games alone!

For a number of years now I have kept a personal journal dealing with issues that relate to what’s going on in my life at deeper levels. I’m far more self-aware than I used to be and exploring what’s going on “below the water line” so to speak. The parts of me that others cannot see.

Several years ago many “D” words were showing up in my journal vocabulary – “Depression, Despair, Discouragement, Disappointment.” To say that I was dissatisfied with this situation would be an understatement. And yes, that also begins with the letter “D”!

In my daily devotions I seriously began to look attentively “inside” and question why these persistent emotional battles were being fought. I was convicted because if one was to look at my life from the outside they would see very little, if anything, that would account for these feelings. It just wasn’t reasonable or rational.

To some degree I discovered that many of the emotional maladies I suffered were due personal choices as to where I invested my time and attention. For years I was a worrier and brooder – thinking deeply about things that disturbed and saddened me. The internal focus of my life was not invested well in the things of eternal value that I knew in my head were much more important and essential.

In the passage quoted above the Apostle Paul in writing to the Colossian church in the first century describes some incredible truths. He says that a person who has trusted Jesus Christ in this life (which would describe me and thousands of others world-wide) has a new identity that is now “hidden with Christ in God.”
This profound truth, he explains, now means that even though we live in the physical realm, we can focus the center of our lives on the eternal reality that we are given a new identity that will endure forever. Paul says, set your hearts and minds on this new reality.

I have found that this is a matter of moment-by-moment and day-by-day choices of where we focus our attention. In reviewing my journal in recent days I see that words of gratitude, grace and thankfulness have replaced the nasty “D” words that once so dominated my thinking.

Obviously this is a long-term process, but it’s also a daily choice.

Several years ago I had the opportunity to counsel a man who had dealt with several addictive patterns in his life. He had successfully dealt with a serious gambling problem but wanted to go deeper and deal with other issues as they surfaced. He had learned in the recovery process that an addict is “chasing good feelings.” I had to admit in my own life that I was guilty of doing the same thing even thought I had never been into gambling or substance abuse.

I now see that God wants to give us great feelings. But the difference is that the great feelings are based on great realities – those of an eternal realm that will endure long beyond this beautiful but broken world we now inhabit.

I’m now convinced that good feelings are not an end in themselves but are a result of where we focus the center of our lives.

God’s desires for us include feelings of love and acceptance, of beauty, grace and mercy. These all flow from who we are and what we have in a relationship with Jesus Christ. He wants us to turn off the noise and give moment-by-moment attention to the new identity we have in Jesus that is not based on material possessions or on our status in society (or even the “Christian” community), and certainly not based on our personal performance.

If you will engage in this process with me you’ll also discover, as I have, that in this new pattern you will have much more time and energy to give to those around you who need your love, acceptance and availability.

By shifting our awareness of where our attention is focused we can become people who are growing strong in giving our energy to others who are of eternal value as well.

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Turning Points – Are We Ever Too Impoverished to Be Generous?

Posted in Giving, Grace, Gratitude, Happiness, Humility, tagged , , , on January 12, 2017| 1 Comment »

“From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked.” Luke 12:48 (NIV)

 I face the temptation on a regular basis to think that I’m not personally responsible for the plight of people around me who are less fortunate than I. I’m grateful that I have experiences from time to time to rouse me out of my complacency and selfishness.

For some years now I adapt my weekly schedule to do some volunteer work at one of my local charity shops. I find the few hours a week I spend at the shop refreshing to my soul. It gets me out of my dusty routine and into the daily lives of many people that I might not otherwise meet during a given week.

Just this week while working at the shop’s “till” as we call it in Ireland, I was quite surprised to see a very destitute looking man enter the shop and begin to play with a child’s musical toy. I had only priced the toy at the value of three Euro some minutes before.

If I could only have had two free hours with this individual I would have gladly re-clothed his badly soiled garments, treated him to an hour bath and burned the filthy rags he was wearing. You could smell an individual like this coming from blocks away. He was that bad off!

After a few minutes of rummaging around the shop, he approached me at the till and asked if he could purchase the musical toy for a small girl who was with her mother in the shop. He inserted his filthy fingers into a long-worn pocket and found three Euro to complete the purchase. I left the receipt for the sale on the till as I guessed he wouldn’t be interested in it!

I admit that I have a strong tendency toward feeling entitled to more that I already have. We live in a world that is consumed with consumerism. It’s also very popular today to think that we should have the best of everything at reasonable prices and we should demand our rights if we don’t get what we want. Often I feel that I’m on the giving end far more than the receiving end, which is in fact, totally false.

The words of Jesus Christ, quoted above, come at the end of one of His many parables. In the parable, Jesus speaks of a faithful and wise manager who is entrusted with his Master’s possessions. The key is how the manager behaves, knowing he will one day be held to account for that which he has been entrusted. How the manager views the Master is the key to the parable. If the manager feels that there will not be a day of reckoning in the future, he can even go so far as to beat the Master’s servants and begin to believe that he will not be held to account for his actions.

There’s also an added precaution – the manager must face the reality of the trust he’s been given.  Those entrusted with more – more will be required of them.

Upon reflection, I find that even the most impoverished among us still have something to share with others. One person who is a most unlikely candidate for admiration, is still made in the image of God and can display generosity and kindness.

The reality is that I have been endowed with far more than I can ever imagine with grace, goods and gifts of many kinds. By one act of kindness, I’m reminded that I have been entrusted by my Master with infinite riches. The more I can manage to give the more I seem to gain. Perhaps He’s arranged it to work that way.

 

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