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“A furious squall came up, and the waves broke over the boat, so that it was nearly swamped. Jesus was in the stern, sleeping on a cushion. The disciples woke him and said to him, ‘Teacher, don’t you care if we drown?’ He got up, rebuked the wind and said to the waves, ‘Quiet! Be still!’ Then the wind died down and it was completely calm. He said to his disciples, ‘Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith?’” – Mark 4:37-40 (NIV)

Some years ago I recall watching an old western film or television show. It featured a dastardly gunslinger who was terrorizing a small town with his gang of nasty marauders. Out in the dusty main street of the town was an old gentleman, a hard working cowhand who had lived an honest and hardworking life on the range. The gunslinger, singling him out, said something to the effect, “Hey old man, dance!” and began to shoot very close to his feet, forcing him to “dance” around in panic or have his feet injured, even permanently maimed.

Personally speaking, during the past year the term “calm” hasn’t been one that’s described my life most of the time. It also hasn’t been the term I would use to evaluate most of the information hear shared on any news channel or social media platform with which I’m familiar. If anything, news and social media startles and shakes us out of any peace and serenity we might enjoy, even for a few minutes of the day.   

I so often resonate with that poor old cowhand in the western. The gunslingers around me shoot at my feet on a regular basis and I start dancing to react or avoid whatever bullet they shoot my way.  

I could list any one of a number of troublesome current issues which plague our world on a daily basis and to be honest, it’s almost impossible for any sincere person to avoid thinking about these issues some or all of their waking hours. Even when we are awake in the middle of the night our minds often drift back to some pressing issue which directly or indirectly affects us or those we know and love.

How can any one of us remain calm when faced with these constant pressing issues?  

An entire range of self-help books, articles, blogs and advisors abound seeking to help us break free of the constant barrage of unsettling information and stressors we all face.

When feeling overwhelmed, I much prefer to go back to the foundations of my faith and recognize that as a follower of Jesus Christ, I have a much greater resources than anything else that’s out there these days.  

One of my favourite stories in the New Testament comes in Mark chapter four, quoted above. It’s the end of a long day and Jesus wants to escape the crowds He’s been ministering to all day. He instructs His twelve disciples, many of them fishermen, to get into a boat and to cross the Sea of Galilee with Him. The trip starts out in perfect serenity but along comes a furious squall and the disciples are beside themselves. They go into an absolute panic, trying to rid the boat of water before it capsizes and they are all washed away. They well knew the risks of their trade.

Jesus, in the meantime, is asleep! What’s the Son of God doing sleeping at a time like this?

Often like the disciples when I’m roused out of my calm and serene state I don’t really think about the grounding that I have in Jesus, the one who created the world and placed me into it personally. I forget my connection with Him which I need moment by moment, regardless of what’s happening around me.

As I read the text closely, I think Jesus very much reveals His authority over the natural world and displays to His disciples the truth of His word to them. Before they got into the boat He says, “We are going to the other side.” He never said anything about drowning in the middle of the lake!

Jesus is teaching them the lesson of just exactly Who is running their world and challenging them to trust Him completely. I’ve read the rest of the story. Not only did He care for them in the midst of the storm, but they went to follow Him, almost to a man, and be part of His Kingdom program here on earth. My relationship with the same Lord is a legacy of their faith and confidence in Him.

During the past few months I’ve not been very calm or patient, waiting for a surgical procedure which was coming up for me at the end of April. As a result of my surgery I was told to be still and quiet for one to two weeks and expect very little of myself during the recovery time.

One thing I’m starting to realize as I stepped back for a week was that I was returning to a sense of calm in my life. Oddly enough, we can fear something like surgery yet, it may be the storm that we need to quiet us down and get us back to trusting the One who created and loves us.

Whenever we feel like that poor old cowhand in the old west, we might just want to step back and ask some key questions. Who is doing the shooting? What do I have to fear? Is there Someone greater to protect me from harm? What might He be trying to teach me? Am I giving away the calmness I need for living to someone else who I feel is demanding it from me?

When the storms of life rage around us we can have a calmness that is beyond our understanding. There is One whom we can trust completely but our complete trust in Him is never finished.

“But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” – Matthew 6:33-34 (NIV)

As my 68th birthday rapidly approaches, tomorrow in fact, I’ve been feeling like I will never get caught up. Caught up on the books I didn’t read last year, but wanted to. Caught up on the things I have left undone (I haven’t written on this blog in all too long). Caught up on the people I need to talk to, but haven’t! The list is endless!

When I started feeling that way I began to think, “why is the temptation so great for me to feel that I’m somehow ‘behind’?”

Here were some of the random thoughts that came from me asking myself this question –

I have to catch up to “others” I feel are “ahead” of me.

I have to catch up on all the good things I need to do to consider myself “worthy” of the rewards and benefits I reap.  

I have to catch up on my devotional life, my work, my reading, my writing . . . .

It then dawned on me that I may somehow have this perspective on life that I’m in some sort of competitive race. It’s perhaps my pride that shows up to suggest that there are people in my life I’m magically “ahead” of and others I know and admire who are actually “ahead” of me.

I’m not really aware of anyone in my life who would consider being in a “race” with me or against me.

This is a very uncomfortable and desperate way to live life. It was only when I stopped and asked myself this question that began to realize the insanity that was gripping me.

Do I have something to prove to others? Do I have something to prove to myself?

Why the need to feel “caught up”? Will I ever really be “caught up” in any sense of the word?

The answer is “probably not.”

Then the comment Jesus Christ made, recorded in Matthew 6 came to mind. He said, “Don’t worry about tomorrow (catching up, perhaps?), for tomorrow will worry about itself.”

Someone recently commented to me that we really only live in the present. We can’t “fix” or alter the past, we can only learn from it. We actually can’t know or live in the future which hasn’t arrived. We can only live in the present – often where we find the greatest challenge.

I know that I can be much more disciplined in my use of time and in organizing my life around the things which are most important. However, when I feel the stress of trying to “catch up” I’m really oblivious to all the wonderful opportunities for life and growth my Lord and maker has put right around me each day. As a follower of Jesus, life in His eternal Kingdom has already begin and I’ll never be behind or have to “catch up” only to live moment by moment in His Divine Presence.

Perhaps you can relate.

So when you and I feel the urge to “get caught up” maybe its time to take a step back and do a reality check. Is there anyone that really cares but us? Is there anyone keeping score?

If not, it might be better to trust the God of all eternity with the present and seek Him and His Kingdom first.

“Therefore, since we are receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, let us be thankful, and so worship God acceptably with reverence and awe, for our ‘God is a consuming fire.’ – Hebrews 12:28-29 (NIV)

It often happens to me, usually without warning. I’m suddenly and inexplicably beset with my own fragility and weakness. It may be something someone says to me, a reaction to the daily (mostly negative) news or some comment made on Social Media, but it can send me into a state of despair and sometimes depression. Without warning I seem to end up awash with anxiety, fear, anger and a host of other unexplained emotions which evade my personal space and then don’t leave at my request.

In a complex world of competing world views, one thing is fairly certain – human beings are both thinking and feeling beings. Hopefully most people reading this would agree on that point. But the relationship between our thoughts and our feelings pose a very complex question. How often are our “feelings” a true reflection of reality?

Quite often what we may “feel” isn’t necessarily real. An often quoted illustration of this is the pilot flying the airplane and feeling that they are traveling right side up when in fact they are upside down. What the pilot “feels” isn’t exactly “real.” He has to look at the instruments on the plane to assess objective reality.

I have known of several people who struggle with eating disorders. Some of them are quite thin and frail and yet “feel” fat. I know of others who are quite wealthy and successful by most human measurements, and yet “feel” inferior and worthless. Most of us can come up with our own list.

As I have conversed with several individuals lately, I’ve come across a similar story. During the strange time of lockdowns due to Covid-19 and a world that seems to sink deeper into turmoil, many of our emotions have been strong and persistent these days. Some of us have been subject to panic attacks and shortness of breath who have actually never experienced these things before. It’s been a strange and unusual time to say the least. Why the strong feelings? Do they point to something that’s real or only the way we perceive and process it?

Personally, I have to come back to objective reality and start looking at the instruments on the plane, to continue the illustration above. I think the key is to stay grounded in a reality that we can have some degree of certainty about, even if it does require faith. Faith and reason both have a place in determining what is “real” regardless of what our emotions may tell us.

Recently I’ve been doing more thinking about what Jesus Christ said about “the Kingdom of God” recorded in the Synoptic Gospels (Matthew, Mark and Luke) of the New Testament. Although this major subject cannot be fully discussed or described in one short essay such as this, it is clear that Jesus was all about leading people into a new reality that centered on Him. He referred to it as “the Kingdom of God,” or “The Kingdom of Heaven” or “the Heavens.”

I have to admit, that even though I’ve been a follower of Jesus for just over fifty years, I still have much to learn about the mystery of the Kingdom that King Jesus spoke about so often. However, one thing I do know is that the writer to the Hebrews said that this Kingdom was indeed unshakable. Perhaps that is because it is based on an unshakable Person who points to a reality greater than the deteriorating world we see around us.

The gospel writers recorded the words of Jesus in terms that everyday people of that era would understand. The good news is that the Kingdom of God is now available to everyone who will put their faith and trust in Jesus Christ. The reality of the life, death and resurrection of Jesus is an indisputable fact regardless of how anyone may “feel” about it. This unshakable Kingdom is grounded in an indestructible Person.

A friend of mine spent many years in recovery from alcoholism attending AA meetings. She shared with me many important lessons which have even helped and stuck with me to this day. One thing she learned during her years of recovery was, “feelings are not facts, they are just feelings.” Even though feelings can tell us there is a problem they often don’t give us the solution to the problem.

When my emotions are strong and confusing in times like these I’m thankful that as a follower of Jesus Christ I can rest secure in a risen and living Savior who gently guides me into a Kingdom that cannot and will not be shaken. He won my heart with a love that is sacrificial and a life that is indestructible. I’m grateful for many others who join me on this journey as well as many others who have gone before and testify to the Kingdom’s reality and eternality – regardless of how I may feel. Will you join us in the journey? I hope so, but the choice is up to you.

“And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts. For as members of one body you are called to live in peace. And always be thankful.” – Colossians 3:15 (NLT)

At this time of year between Ash Wednesday and Easter Sunday the followers of Jesus broadly observe a step back from their daily routine to reflect on the character and provision of God in His Son, Jesus Christ. It seems to be a very common question in some sectors, “What are you giving up for Lent?”

However, I would like to pose the question from a different perspective. For me, the same question stated differently is – “Who (or what) is shaping your character these days?”

We can easily find something in our lives which we can do without for a season, with multiple benefits. I’m sure I can easily come up with a large number of substances (such as sugar or caffeine) or practices (such as mindless internet surfing or TV reruns) which would do me much good if I didn’t have so much of them, many of them for longer than six weeks.  

However, a deeper issue I’m asking just now is, “Who or what am I allowing to shape my innermost thoughts, feelings, and convictions just now?” Perhaps this Lenten season is a time to take time to reflect and reassess.

My character can easily be shaped by the News Media. I’m often put in an awkward spot of not being the first to “hear the news” of what just happened in the world of instant 24/7 news reporting.  I know some practicing Christians who are literally so tied to the news media or political agendas that it has to dominate and consume a large part of their time and energy. I know my character can easily be shaped – or misshaped –  by the news media. Taking a fast from constant news feeds might be something to seriously consider during Lent – and even longer.

And then there’s Social Media. I just easily counted four main platforms which I somehow got tied into. How did that happen? Keeping up with scores of people – some I know well and others I know very little – can consume so much of my life and energy. I think it’s a good time to reassess just what impact is being made in my life from Social Media. It can bring blessing but so often, like the frog in the kettle, my soul is gradually boiling and I don’t even see it.

My own fallen nature can be very much the center of my thoughts and feelings. The influences of the News and Social Media and the world around me can fuel what is already dark and fallen within me. There has to be a different alternative.

Through a series of old and “new to me” influences, God brought me back around to a discipline that I had neglected for some time. Years ago as a young Christian I had a plan for Scripture Memory and I think it made a difference in my life. Lately, I’m returning to finding better ways to occupy my mind and thought habits and stay further away from influences I don’t like shaping my character.

The late Dallas Willard once suggested that more Christians should be memorizing passages such as  Colossians 3:1-17, which focus on character development. I’ve taken him up on the challenge all to my benefit, I must say. Here the followers of Jesus are instructed by the Apostle Paul to focus their hearts and minds on different matters than what the world around them has to offer. The true followers of Jesus now have a new position and have received new identity which is to be cherished and nurtured. I’ve come to realize that often my own soul is the last thing that I feed. Perhaps this is more what Lent was meant to be about in the first place.

Now that I’m working through memorizing these verses I see that my “old nature” can easily be fed to overflowing by the world around me. Perhaps many men in the past became monks so that they could escape the corruption of the world and they didn’t even have Facebook and Instagram to avoid!

On the other hand, I realize that in order for me to be the person God wants me to be, I have to listen compassionately and caringly to the world around me, being sensitive to what others are thinking and feeling. Perhaps Lent is a time to reassess what part belongs to me and what belongs to God. I think He has a lot more of a say in the matter than I.

I’m challenged by verse 15 of Colossians 3  – “And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts.” (NLT) The question of who is truly ruling within comes into sharp focus – particularly during Lent.  

I must allow the peace that comes from Jesus Christ to rule my heart rather than the influences around me. When I do that, I will find how God wants me to be with others in the situation of life around me, no matter how dark or challenging it may seem. I know that I need to be kind, loving, caring and compassionate – but all those qualities are found in my new nature, imparted to me because of my relationship with God through Jesus Christ.

What about you? In this season of Lent will you think about what you are giving up or rather what might be shaping your character. I know that by doing both I’m seeking to gain a deeper intimacy with the One who desires to shape me and my character from the inside out.

“Just then there appeared before them Moses and Elijah, talking with Jesus.  Peter said to Jesus, ‘Lord, it is good for us to be here. If you wish, I will put up three shelters–one for you, one for Moses and one for Elijah.’ While he was still speaking, a bright cloud enveloped them, and a voice from the cloud said, ‘This is my Son, whom I love; with Him I am well pleased. Listen to Him!’ When the disciples heard this, they fell face down to the ground, terrified.” – Matthew 17:3-6 (NIV)

I must admit that I’m no expert on the British Royal Family but in recent times my wife has drawn me into watching the Netflix series “The Crown.”

In an opening scene in one of the early episodes of season four, “The Balmoral Test,” Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher and her husband Dennis are flying toward Scotland to spend time with the Royal Family at Balmoral Castle, Scotland in the early 1980’s. Margaret, as usual, is deep in thought while Dennis is explaining his awareness that the Royal family tends to get strategic people into the castle and run them through a series of “tests” that can be very instructive to them in how they relate to such individuals. In essence he’s telling Margaret that they are “prime” candidates for such a test.

As the story unfolds, we discover that Prime Minister Thatcher has not brought any outdoor shoes with her on this trip. In the morning the Queen gets her out in the country side, sloshing through muddy fields and up hills in the scenic area surrounding the castle. Even after borrowing a pair of the Queen’s old shoes for the trip, Mrs. Thatcher decides she is going back to the castle to be better prepared for this type of activity. Back in the castle she decides to forgo the great outdoors and sits down to do some serious work in one of the castle’s ornately decorated historic rooms.

At this point Princess Margaret, played by Helena Bonham Carter, arrives on the scene and finds Mrs. Thatcher sitting in a chair at a desk in this grandiose room. She exclaims, “Who told you that you could sit in that chair? That was Queen Victoria’s Chair! No one sits in that chair!”

I’m sure no one was as surprised to hear this news as was Mrs. Thatcher – the Prime Minister of Great Britain and certainly not a woman to be trifled with. After hearing this untimely news, she politely abides by the Princess’s wishes and gets up out of the chair.

This scene spoke to me deeply. I would have thought that the Prime Minister of Great Britain could pretty much go anywhere she wanted to go in the kingdom and sit in any chair she wanted. However, it became clear that when she was on “Royal” territory she was no longer “in charge.” There was a higher authority she was duty-bound to respect. Someone else owned the chair and she had to submit to an authority that was greater than her own office or position in the kingdom.  

Shortly after watching this, my wife and I were trying to explain the term “relativism” to two of our granddaughters and it dawned on me that this story is reflective of the current state of our world. In this current age, no one seems to know who “owns the chair.” We live in an age where no one really knows who is “in charge” and to whom we must ultimately give an account.

I thought back to the story I allude to above where the early Apostles Peter, James and John accompanied Jesus up onto a mountain one day during His earthly ministry. Jesus was transfigured before them and Moses and Elijah appeared with Him. Only later did the three apostles speak of the incident but they clearly heard a voice from heaven saying, “This is my Son whom I love. Listen to Him.”

People often ask me, “Aren’t all religions and philosophies the same? What’s so different between what I believe and what you believe?” My short answer is now this, “According to your viewpoint, who owns the chair?”

Many current philosophies work under the assumption that there is no authorative, personal God in charge of the universe in general and our world in particular. The current state of our world is reflective of a mindset that believes “it’s all up to us” to decide who’s in charge. It’s survival of the fittest and the one who shouts the loudest or comes up with the best political/economic system gets to call the shots. (I’m not, by the way, making a political statement or endorsing any political party or candidate.)

I know that I might be branded as naive or simplistic, but I still believe that we can know, honor, respect and follow the one who not only “owns the chair” but owns our world and the entire universe. He invites us to know Him personally through His Son Jesus Christ who still speaks to us today through His Word, the Bible and by His Holy Spirit.

In the past two thousand years since Jesus walked the earth there have been many who have been dismissive of Him, but none have ever successfully disproved the reality of His life, death and resurrection. Peter, James, John and many other early Jesus-followers were eye witnesses of this Man who alone has ultimate authority.

The One who owns it all still speaks to us today, “This is my Son, whom I love; with Him I am well pleased. Listen to Him.”  I suggest we do just that.  

But most of all, my brothers and sisters, never take an oath, by heaven or earth or anything else. Just say a simple yes or no, so that you will not sin and be condemned.” – James 5:12 (NLT)

Actually when you think about it, whether we admit it or not, we all have our limits. During the past couple of weeks I’ve been considering the fact that we have so many limits or boundaries in our lives that we often don’t take time to consider.  

Recently a friend and colleague died of cancer at a relatively young age, leaving behind a husband and two children with particular needs. For those of us who knew and loved her we all feel the pain of losing someone who left us far too early. But her life, like all of ours, has limits. We won’t live in these bodies forever, and as a follower of Jesus as I grow older, I’m looking forward to the next one that God has promised me.

In the meantime, like everyone else, I have limits. I don’t have unlimited time, money, patience, emotional energy, and the list goes on. I have limits or boundaries and I’m learning more about them all the time. I often don’t like or appreciate the fact that I’m human and I have to say “no” to some things.

I’ve often pondered why I don’t like to say “no” to everyone’s requests. I think I’ve discovered that I don’t want to disappoint anyone and I want to be helpful to everyone. That’s a lofty goal, but virtually impossible to reach. I’m human and I have to be the first to admit it. I’ve been addicted to people-pleasing for years and it’s a difficult habit from which to break free.  

I’m re-reading Henry Cloud and John Townsend’s book, Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life.” I think this should be required reading for almost everyone, especially people who relate to what I’m saying. One of the key thoughts from the book comes under the section on boundary myths under the question – “Are Boundaries a Sign of Disobedience?”

The authors write, “. . .an internal no nullifies an external yes. God is more concerned with our hearts than he is with our outward compliance. ‘For I desire mercy and not sacrifice, and acknowledgment of God rather than burnt offerings,’ (Hosea 6:6) In other words, if we say yes to God or anyone else when we really mean no, we move into a position of compliance. And that is the same as lying. Our lips say yes, but our hearts (and often our half-hearted actions) say no. . . Here’s a good way to look at this myth that boundaries are a sign of disobedience: if we can’t say no, we can’t say yes. . . We must always say yes out of a heart of love. When our motive is fear, we love not.” – pp. 110-111.  

As I was reading these words I reflected on what James writes in his epistle, quoted above. There is a responsibility for our lives that God entrusts to us as we stand before Him. We have to say “yes” to the things we devote our hearts to and “no” to what we cannot or must not do. In other words, I have to take ownership and responsibility for what is mine and you must do the same.

This is no simple task and it’s not a pat answer or “formula” that we can plug in to each and every situation. However, my thought and prayer life is much more informed by the boundaries and limits in my life and more importantly, in my heart.

Like everyone else, I’m a work in progress I need to continually guard and watch over my heart so that when I say “yes” I can really mean it – on the inside as well as the outside.

Daily we are bombarded by choices and decisions which are tough calls to make. To what will we devote our time, our energy, our money and our resources? Who will get the best part of our day and our full attention?

As something of a compulsive thinker at times, I can become consumed with trying to make the “right” decision instead of allowing God to speak to my heart and trusting His guidance. I know as I trust Him more fully He will give me the insight and wisdom to say “yes” and “no” and speak from a heart of love rather than fear of rejection or disappointing others. May this bless you on your journey with Him today.  

“One Sabbath Jesus was going through the cornfields, and as His disciples walked along, they began to pick some ears of corn. The Pharisees said to Him, ‘Look, why are they doing what is unlawful on the Sabbath?’ He answered, ‘Have you never read what David did when he and his companions were hungry and in need? In the days of Abiathar the high priest, he entered the house of God and ate the consecrated bread, which is lawful only for priests to eat. And he also gave some to his companions.’  Then He said to them, ‘The Sabbath was made for man, not man for the Sabbath. So the Son of Man is Lord even of the Sabbath.’” – Mark 2:23-28 (NIV)

I’m seeing a common theme that seems to surface regularly. Perhaps it may be because I’m more attuned to it in recent days.

It relates to  two very different and distinct ways that one’s life can be lived. I know that I might be oversimplifying this but I can see the difference in my own life and I use the distinction of a life of “Reaction” as opposed to a life of “Rhythms.”

A life of “reaction” may best be described as a “driven” life. We feel hard pressed by some unknown force to live life “in the fast lane,” milking each moment of the day for as much as we can accomplish while being an influence on the world around us. The temptation in living life this way is that we don’t really know what each day will hold until we have checked the news, social media or our e-mail to see what the world “throws at us” next.

I can easily live life by the motto, “What’s the latest fire I’m meant to extinguish?” I have to admit, there’s a few of us around with Messiah complexes as if we are God’s gift to a hurting world which desperately needs us to be “fixers of the universe.”

Our reactions, and our lives can very much be shaped by others around us who are also living this way. These days we have much greater connectivity than ever before with the internet and social media. The hope of having “down time” from excessive connection is quite fleeting these days. Those of us, like myself, who tend to be an obsessive thinkers are in a much more vulnerable place.

Living a life of “reaction” means that one is hopelessly at the beck and call of the latest news story or the constant stream of social media commentary, seeking to have one’s voice heard above the madding crowd.

So what’s the alternative? Although I have been a poor model of an opposing lifestyle I think there’s a better way.

Like many other followers of Jesus I have done some serious study and refection on the life of Jesus Christ as revealed in the Gospels. I see a completely different way of living reflected in what I know and am learning about Jesus. He lived an intentional life but was rarely, if ever, driven by reaction to others. Perhaps the most intentional man who ever lived invites us to daily dependence on Him and unbroken conversation with Him.

There are many scenes in the life of Jesus to which I could refer, but the one mentioned above is where Jesus told the Pharisees, “the Sabbath was made for man, not man for the Sabbath.” I think the Pharisees were living a life driven by rules and expectations. They represented a strictly religious approach to life that was more into rules keeping than understanding rhythms behind the rules.

According to Jesus, the Sabbath had a wonderful purpose as a life rhythm to allow men and women to rest, recover and to be re-shaped by the God who made them and who, by the way, does run the universe.

I can easily see that when my Sabbath-keeping hasn’t been a consistent part of my life rhythms, I’m drawn quickly back to reactionary way of life. A life dominated by “reaction” gives way to other people or pressing issues, allowing them to set the agenda for me rather than my taking ownership of my life choices and my response being one of submission to the God who made and sustains me.

I’m also seeing that it’s going to take more than one day a week for me to get into a healthy pattern of “rhythm” rather than “reaction.” It’s going to demand a life-style change and those are the most difficult ones to come by.

I can begin to fear that I’m not diligent enough and as a result I may miss something important and fail to meet the needs of others around me in an appropriate manner. Alternatively, I’m learning that getting caught up in a “reaction” mode doesn’t really help the cause of Jesus whom I seek to serve. I think most of my family and friends would agree that I’m much more available and helpful to them when I’m living out of rhythm rather than reaction to stimuli around me.

There will always be times in our lives when we are asked to go above and beyond the call of duty and respond to emergencies which arise. That’s part of life in the real world. However, when I’m constantly in a place of agitation due to living a reactionary life, I’m losing more effectiveness than I’m gaining.

What do you think? Will your life be driven by values, rhythms and intentions or will it be driven by reaction to what is thrown at you by the forces that seek to move and shape you? I’m seeking to do the former rather than the latter.  

“‘Haven’t you read the Scriptures?’ Jesus replied. ‘They record that from the beginning ‘God made them male and female.’’’ And he said, ‘This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one. Since they are no longer two but one, let no one split apart what God has joined together.’” – Matthew 19:4-6 (New Living Translation)  

It was sometime during the summer of 1974,  I think, when I was sitting at a desk in my room at home when my older sister Betty stepped in the doorway to talk to me. She didn’t particularly have an agenda, but suddenly the conversation revealed one. “I think you and Joyce should get married!” she blurted out.

Needless to say, this isn’t what I expected from my sister but I also wasn’t shocked. Joyce Elizabeth Lamborn and myself had only been dating a few weeks at that point but we had known each other for over a year, having met through church and attending Texas Wesleyan College (now University) together.  

My sister was adamant that from what she knew of my new girlfriend that the earmarks of an enduring relationship were pretty obvious. Thankfully she wasn’t the only one who saw it either.

By Thanksgiving (the fourth Thursday in November) of that year, we were officially engaged and before we knew it the wedding was set for July 26, 1975.

I can recall that the eight months of our engagement were filled with highs and lows as we sought to further our education, seek pre-marriage counselling, plan a wedding and hold down the part time jobs we had at the time.

As a full-time student I was working part-time at a factory, Superior Heat Treating Company in Fort Worth, Texas which was a bit out of my comfort zone. A friend from my church who owned the business had kindly offered me the job to get me through school. My long term plan was to complete my education at Texas Wesleyan, attend Seminary in Dallas and then enter the ministry as a church pastor, so I thought.  

The final weeks before our wedding where challenging as Joyce returned from Texas to her family home in Whitehall, Wisconsin to complete the wedding plans after our school term and I stayed in Fort Worth to work as much as possible before starting a new life as a married man.

Obviously, our wedding took place in July ‘75 and we entered married life with all the hopes, fears and expectations of an exciting future together. Our honeymoon was a saga in itself as we travelled to western, New York for some friend’s wedding which was to take place the following Saturday. By the time we returned to Texas as a married couple we could have written a pretty exciting book, if only about the first two weeks of marriage. It was, in a sense, a microcosm of our future and a foreshadowing of things to come.

Our Wedding Day – July 26, 1975

Since those early days together, Joyce and I have travelled the world, lived in Dallas the four years of seminary, served as missionaries in the West Indies (summer of 1979) and Ireland (summer 1978; 1983 to present). We have six children and are expecting our thirteenth grandchild in October. I could to on, but you get the point. It has been a life like no other and I would definitely not be the man I am today without Joyce.  

It was the author Gore Vidal who is to have said that if you live long enough you experience just about everything – joys, tragedies, good heath, illness, failure, success – you name it. I  know this is true with me and the wonderful, dedicated and gifted life partner God gave to me all those years ago.

Having just celebrated our forty-fifth year together I have seen and continue to see the fingerprints of God in our lives – bringing us together, developing us, using us and blessing us in a multitude of ways. I think I can safely say that we both desire together to be useful to God and for His good purposes for as long as He gives us life, health and strength.

There has been pain, suffering, setbacks and even my own failures which have tested the relationship, but the One who brought us together has been faithful. There will always be strength to stand the test of time when our dependence is on Him.  May it continue to be so.

“We always thank God for all of you, mentioning you in our prayers. We continually remember before our God and Father your work produced by faith, your labor prompted by love, and your endurance inspired by hope in our Lord Jesus Christ.” – 1 Thessalonians 1:2-3 (NIV)

It was sometime in 1977 or 1978 and I was in my early years as a student at Dallas Theological Seminary. My wife Joyce had been taking some classes with Child Evangelism Fellowship directors Fred and Vickie Kraft, being better equipped to lead children to a personal knowledge of Jesus Christ and grow in a personal relationship with Him.

I think it may have been Vickie who encouraged Joyce to either sponsor a “Good News Club” for children on a weekday afternoon or assist someone else who would host it. Being new to Dallas and not having a wide range of social connections in the area, Joyce volunteered to help Ina Taylor, a local African-American woman.

From the time Joyce first met Ina she knew she had a friend for life. Ina was a sincere and dedicated follower of Jesus, a graduate of Southern Bible Institute and had a heart to reach out to the children in her south Dallas neighborhood. For several years during my student days Joyce helped her with a weekly children’s club.

One Sunday Ina invited us to attend her local church and come to her house for dinner afterwards. It was one of my first, but not last, experiences visiting a predominantly African-American church. We were warmly welcomed and of course were treated to a fabulous meal afterwards. You would never have met a woman with a larger heart than Ina Taylor.

In 1981 after my graduation from Dallas Seminary we returned to my home town of Fort Worth to prepare for our ministry in Ireland with Greater Europe Mission. We kept in touch with Ina and began to send her our newsletters where we shared family updates and prayer requests for our ministry. Ina became one of our most faithful prayer supporters and almost every year we received hand written letters from her which were indeed a “labor of love” considering the arthritis that she suffered with, especially in her hands and fingers.

As the years passed we had our first four children and Ina adopted them as her own grandchildren even though she mainly knew them through our newsletters. Her own children decided to have her move to Tyler in east Texas closer to them. Tyler happened to be along the US Interstate 20 route we would usually take to northwest Louisiana where Joyce’s mother’s family resided and her parents retired in the early 1990’s.

I think it was on our return trip to America in 1992 or ’93 that we made a very treasured visit to Ina in Tyler on our way to Louisiana. She was able to see our four older children (our twins didn’t arrive until 1994) and prepare a delicious catfish dinner for our lunch. I recall one of our sons saying that he didn’t like catfish! That was, of course, until he actually tasted it and then couldn’t stop eating Ina’s catfish dinner.

We spent a treasured couple of hours with Ina that afternoon but what we weren’t prepared for was what happened next. Ina insisted that we all pile in our car and take her to a local department store. She wanted to purchase gifts for each one of our children. She wouldn’t take “no” for an answer and we didn’t feel like standing in the way of her desire to serve her Lord by serving our family.

Ina taught me to be a more generous giver even as our children picked out what they wanted from the store and carried away treasured gifts from their African-American grandmother.

I’m eternally grateful to God for how He allowed us to connect with another believer from a different background who would be a lifelong ministry partner with us.

A few years ago we received a phone call from Ina’s daughter who kindly passed along the sad news that she had gone home to be with Jesus, the Lord that she loved and served wholeheartedly. I personally hope that she is one of the first people I meet on the other side when I join her someday.

Today we are beset with stories of hate, racism, prejudice, anger and tension of all types and descriptions. All of us as human beings have painful experiences and memories that shape us for life. Perhaps it’s time that we start making new memories and have new experiences with people from all nations and a variety of backgrounds. Yes, we can and should work for moral and social justice, but it starts with simple things like working together on projects which are life-giving to others.

I know that change starts with me, but hopefully I’m drawing from a reservoir of experiences such as the ones I had with our dear friend, sister and ministry partner, Ina Taylor. May her tribe increase!

“The body is a unit, though it is made up of many parts; and though all its parts are many, they form one body. So it is with Christ.  For we were all baptised by one Spirit into one body–whether Jews or Greeks, slave or free–and we were all given the one Spirit to drink.  Now the body is not made up of one part but of many.” – 1 Corinthians 12:12-14 (NIV)  

It was late July 1968 and I can’t remember when I had been more excited. I was fourteen years of age and we were packing our blue station wagon (an “estate car” in Irish terms where I’ve lived for the past thirty-seven years) on a Friday afternoon for the journey of a lifetime.

With my father at the wheel, and me joining him in the front seat, my mother would be in charge of the back seat (and the snack bar) along with my sisters Betty, age 17 and Jeanne age 11. The trip would take us from our home in Fort Worth, Texas to Eugene, Oregon and back in the space of two weeks, or thereabout.

Why would our family be invested in such a dramatic journey of over 5000 miles? My eldest sister Susan had just gotten married on the 8th of June just a few weeks previous and she and her husband Bryan were living in Eugene where he was doing doctoral studies at the University of Oregon.

That Friday afternoon a neighbor saw us packing the car and offered us a small two-wheel camper trailer for the journey. It came in pretty useful bar the fact that it kept blowing out tires and we were continually getting them repaired, as I recall.

My father was a hard working electrician and didn’t have unlimited vacation time so we had to make the most of every day’s travel. That Friday evening we set out for the first leg of our journey and made it all the way to a small motel in the town of Tucumcari, New Mexico.

Just before we turned in for the night my older sister Betty broke down in a flood of tears. She began to beg and plead with my father, explaining that this trip was not on her agenda, and he should send her back home immediately! She generally had the reputation of being the rebellious teenager of our house, but I couldn’t imagine at the time why she wasn’t excited about the trip! It just shows you that a fourteen year old boy sees life differently than a seventeen year old girl, especially one like my sister Betty.

As you may have guessed, it was too late to turn back so Betty had to make the most of the trip and the next morning we continued the family traveling circus across America.

I have to admit that my father was not easy to live or travel with but throughout the journey I continued my role as peacemaker among the family, as best as I could. It seems to me that we each have a tendency to play a particular “role” in the family where we have been placed – not by our own choosing – but we often adapt to a role that seems to come our way along the journey.

As I have matured I have often gone back to the words of the Apostle Paul in the book of 1 Corinthians where he compares the Church of Jesus Christ to a human body. Each part of the body is there for a reason and each one plays a role that’s necessary for the health, well-being and growth of the body. I would learn over the years that I have a role in the larger “family” of God’s Kingdom and if you are a follower of Jesus – so do you!

Saturday, the first full day on the road, we made a strategic decision to drive all the way to Florence, Arizona to see my aunt Myrl – my mother’s only sister. After a long day’s journey including treacherous hairpin turns along mountain roads in a night-time thunderstorm we finally made it safely to my aunt’s home. I can still recall how tired my father looked sitting in a lounge chair in my aunt’s living room.

With My Father at Armitage State Park near Eugene Oregon, August 1968

Space doesn’t permit me to recount the entire journey but we drove all the way through California from south to north and ended up in Eugene, Oregon on about the fifth day of the journey. When we arrived in Eugene my sister’s apartment wasn’t very large so my other two sisters and mother stayed with some new friends of Susan and Bryan in a nearby apartment.

My father and I meantime, drove up to Armitage State Park Campground just north of Eugene and stayed in tent that folded out of the camper. I can recall some of the fun times my father and I had on the campground more than the events back at the apartment.

So many of the sights we never would have experienced if we hadn’t been travelling together as a family. The beauty of Oregon was stunning and we even made it to Crater Lake, a must see if you are ever in the region. If my memory serves me correctly, we even worked in a brief visit to the Grand Canyon in Arizona on the way home and a drive through a scenic part of Colorado.

Yes, it was the trip of a lifetime. I’m thankful that God placed me in the family that I have and I’m grateful for the role and the gifts He has given me. I hope you, regardless of your family of origin, will find a place in God’s family as a follower of Jesus and discover the unique role He has for you.  

My sister Susan would pass away tragically in 1994 and my sister Betty in 2006. I regret not having more discussions with them about the trip and the times we spent together.

We make decisions daily as to how we choose to travel with our family of origin. Sometimes they are a blessing, for some of us they may not be. We may want or even need to break run, just like my sister wanted to do late that night in New Mexico.

We can also choose to be part of a larger family, to find our place in the Kingdom that God is building here on earth. If you are reading this today my prayer for you is that you will join the exciting journey of following Jesus and discover the part He has for you to play. I’m so thankful that it’s a journey that’s always moving forward.  

Along life’s journey there are always tears, laughter, blown out tires and beautiful scenery, but my hope and prayer is that you will find joy and contentment and realize that going somewhere together with others is well worth the price of the ticket.

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